20 Leadership Lessons From 16 Years of Marriage

Marriage is one of the best personal development course I’ve ever taken.

grayscale photography of man and woman draw heart on sand
Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash

I asked my husband to marry me on Valentine’s day in 2002. We are 26 years together.

I can’t remember if I proposed or told him he had to marry me and make a decent woman out of me!

On this day in 2003, he finally married me.

Ed is my best friend, mentor and guiding light. It’s been one journey of highs and lows in sickness and in health literally.

But we made it.

We have rules for resilience. It’s been 26 years of the best personal development course we have ever taken.

Here is what it taught us about leadership:

1. Be strong

2. Be kind

3. Be committed

4. Listen

5. Talk

6. Give without expectation

7. Love who you are and what you do

8. Forgive, no matter how hard it is

9. Have patience

10. Pay attention

11. Pause, when agitated

12. Cherish the good

13. Challenge the bad

14. Be accountable

15. Have respect

16. Have fun

17. Be honest

18. Choose your battles

19. Stand up for each other

20. Give up your right to be right

I had the rules framed for him as our anniversary present.

Couple posing for a photo on their wedding day

As Bob Marley wrote, neither of us are perfect or ever will be. But if we can make each other laugh at least once, causes each other to think twice, and if we can admit to being human and making mistakes, we will hold onto each other.

For more on career coaching, executive presence and leadership consulting see my website www.paulineharley.com or follow me on LinkedIn for daily updates.

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The Self Advocating Autistic Pauline Harley

Sharing Lived Experiences From My Autistic Lens to Help People Become More Confident Self Advocates | Writer | Self Advocacy and Wellbeing Facilitator |