My Autistic Goldilocks and Her Grin and Bears.

The middle ground will never apply to my Autistic self.

The Goldilocks Effect, often known as the Goldilocks Principle, proposes that individuals prefer things that are just right or in the ideal range. That concept of rejecting extremes in favour of the ideal middle ground does not apply to my Autistic self.

To get to the middle ground has always been where I bent and swayed and ended up sitting at the smallest seat at the table, where the chair eventually broke. It’s all or nothing. It has always been that way. I’ve always been too much for some and too little for others.

I am too boring for some and too stimulating for others.

Some find me too foolish, while others see me as too intellectual.

Some find me too direct and intimidating, while others see me as needing to be clearer.

Some people find me too kind, while others see me as too harsh.

Some find me too thick-skinned, while others see me too thin-skinned. What’s wrong with being thin-skinned, though, too? Indeed it can allow some of us to feel all the good stuff and beautiful things deeper.

Some find me naive, while others consider me too reasonable and rational.

Some find me too feminine, while others see me too masculine.

I have been told I was too lean or too big and muscular.

Some people think I’m too weak-willed, while others think I’m too determined.

A never-ending war of the mind, heart, and soul with others, with no end goal except emotional breakdown. There was a lot of crying over spilt milk.

It’s also a common principle for women in senior positions and business leadership. It claims that kind, agreeable, and supportive women are less likely to be identified as leaders.

Women who exhibit strength and authority, on the other hand, may be seen as socially insensitive, rude, and unlikable. As a result, some women face a difficult situation regarding how they are regarded and appraised in leadership roles.

I’m tired of never getting my porridge just right, so I’ll make it on my terms. This morning it’s cold blueberry overnight oats with chia seeds—no rights, wrongs or just.

Imperfectly perfect porridge. Originals. Natural states. There will be no more spilt milk. Sometimes we will never be just right for others, so we may as well embrace ourselves and, as fairy tales usually conclude, live happily ever after.