Why I’m no longer living my life as if I’m going to die tomorrow
Because life is not so short for many of us.
My 81-year-old dad has struggled to reach the end of ’22 and is channelling his way into ’23, battling compromised health with great fortitude. He’s like a spring coil of resilience for me in so much, but he’s not bouncing back as quickly this time, and it’s not for lack of trying. So it’s time for me to be that conscious spring coil for him as we navigate through his ill health with as much grace and courage as we can muster while combatting anxiety and uncertainty.
Indeed it is hard to watch our parents age and deteriorate but also joyous to see their tenacity, stoicism, and formidable self as they accept what can and cannot be controlled. Inevitables are inevitable. But emotional energy never deteriorates. On the contrary, it keeps conveying acceptance, resonance, and healing.
As we both age, celebrating my 47th birthday yesterday, I will no longer harp on about living my life as if I’m going to die tomorrow ever again because we are told that life is too short. Sadly, it is for some, as inevitables and choice prevail. But if we all were to live like we would die tomorrow, very little would get done in many contexts. I see increasing evidence of this in the world post-pandemic. So I don’t feel a need to condense my unlived life as defined by mass trending hysteria into the rest of my life in light of my impending demise. It’s grand. Acceptance is a gorgeous growth strategy.
Life is actually very long for many of us. So instead, I shall live my life like I will wake up tomorrow and acknowledge the mundane and all the challenges that living presents amidst moments of cyclical storms of calm and then chaos. Some days I will ask myself how I will find my way out. No doubt that will be by going in.
And inevitably, my reply to my whole self will be one step at a time, for there is no shortcut to wholeness in pursuing acceptance of what lies ahead. For I must first go through the wilderness of the unknown.
To ’23 for Dad and me from Dad and me. Happy New Year.
